I was diagnosed with leukemia last 28th of August 2019. I can still vividly remember everything that happened that day. From the moment that I went to Sengkang Hospital with Addie, got my temperature and blood samples taken. I even had a brain scan since I am complaining of headache. Unaware that the doctors there are thinking of a possible brain bleed because of my low platelets and hemoglobin count. The doctors in Sengkang Hospital told me I needed to be transferred to Singapore General Hospital since they do not have any hematologist in their hospital. Was transferred to Singapore General Hospital via ambulance and was immediately transfused by platelet. I can still remember the doctors in SGH telling me my sister that if I refuse to get chemo, I barely have a month to live. My doctors also told us that it would be better if my other family members can come to SG and visit me because anything can happen anytime. Long story short, they are saying that if anything goes wrong with the treatment, it can only lead to one thing, death.
It was such a scary, sad and depressing thing to hear! Imagine, I was working in Singapore during that time. I had a full life ahead of me. I got a good paying job that I really, really love, I am travelling places with my family and was looking forward to life. The diagnosis was a big hit to me. But just like any other thing, that is something that I have no choice but to face head on. I cannot even cry since crying would mean that my nose will be blocked and blowing my nose can cause severe nosebleed and blood loss. Yes, that's how tough it is!
It took me almost 7 years to finally been able to write about this. I think it's simply because writing about what I have experienced will not only bring out all of the unhappy memories that goes with it but will make the memories more open and concrete to others that I know or might read this. I can't say that it's easy because it's not! I can't say I'm okay because there are times that I wasn't! I can say that I thrived... and I thrived harder everyday.
What happened to me was physically, emotionally, socially and financially draining. The long hours of infusions, days and months of hospital stays, the endless blood and platelet tranfusions, the food restrictions, the numerous pills that I have to take each day, the endless blood extractions, unending tests, the endless worries, sleepless nights. I always told myself that it's okay, let's just take it one day at a time and before you know it it will be the last transfusion, the last pills to take, the last blood extraction, the last bone marrow check.
I always think that this too shall pass.. Keep looking forward and keep looking straight.. And eventually, when everything is good, I can finally eat a sunny side up egg again! And miraculously it did happen! The Lord heard all of my prayers, and the endless prayers and petitions of my family and friends. God is good and He is! All the time!
It was a tough time but on a positive note, since I was able to survive it, I guess everything else should be easy peasy now right? Who would have thought, that what I consider my biggest accomplishment in life right now would be that I am still breathing and alive right now. That I am still able to see the world around me, that I can still see the flowers blooming, the trees lightly swaying with the breeze, that I can still hug my family and friends..
and that I am able to eat sunny side up egg again..
